theothin asked:

I think few people dispute that Caliborn will have some critical connection to LE. However, it's becoming increasingly clear that if he DOES physically become LE, it will be because external forces pushed him into it - as we can see here with him not even understanding why/how he's "supposed" to have the cloak/eyes. Either he's not the body behind LE, or not the will behind LE. He can't be both.

bladekindeyewear answered:

HIGHLY, HIGHLY DISAGREE: Caliborn is not only Lord English’s personality AND power, but the only type of villain who can truly have orchestrated what we’ve seen in-story. He’s irreplaceable. The Ultimate Riddle dictates that the highest villain in this story must have genuinely evil will, destructive and manipulative intent not coerced or manipulated out of him by other parties. The Grand Villain can’t just be “misunderstood”, or some sort of “force” gone out of control; the power behind his name has to be the direct and continual result of his will, or the wills of countless others would have coopted or redirected that power easily!

Yes, you do get the sense that in some cases, “external” forces are satisfying causality by serendipitously granting Caliborn the traits and tools he’ll eventually have as Lord English. Do you know who is arranging these “external” things for him?

HE IS!!! For God’s sake, he’s the LORD OF MOTHERFUCKING TIME, and it’s ON THE RECORD that he’s said to be PERSONALLY ARRANGING THE CONDITIONS FOR HIS OWN EXISTENCE. All these “coincidences” leading to him becoming a full-fledged Lord English, to him getting what he wants or what he thinks is “cool” before he even knows he wants it, seem “external” because HIS FUTURE SELVES ARE WEAVING LOOPS TO ASSURE THEM RETROACTIVELY. THIS ISN’T THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND!!!!!



Look, Caliborn isn’t Lord English, He has a high chance of the being the ultimate villain Aradia mentioned, the Tyrant less of an eye and arm, but he’s not Lord English. There so many times where he’s said to Lord English (John just said so, Hussie said so when he was arguing with him earlier) that he isn’t going to be Lord English. I’m telling you right now, its waaaay too obvious he is Lord English, the characters say it alot. And because of how Homestuck works, he’s not going to be. (Caliborn:turn out to not actually be Lord English will most likely be a command, as a callback to the scene where Hussie said he wouldn’t be Lord English)Aside from this, WE EVEN SAW THE ORIGIN OF LORD ENGLISH! Lord English is Doc scratch, who was made with Lil Cal with part of Caliborn’s soul in it and a cue ball. AND FINALLY, Caliborn says he’s “the master of all Red Herrings” ( is literally the red herring in the video game of SBURB. Its obvious that he’s Lord English, but he’s not.

This has to be the dumbest thing I’ve heard since the “Nepeta is Gamzee” theory.

  1. Doc Scratch is NOT Lord English. We have direct, irrefutable Word of God on that; Doc Scratch was only an ‘excellent host’, and Lord English was being BROUGHT INTO the universe, not created on the spot.
  2. Plus, Doc Scratch said “COUNTLESS INSTANCES” of himself have existed throughout universes to allow Lord English’s entry! The emergence from Doc we saw was something Lord English has done A MILLION FREAKIN TIMES to move from one universe to the next, meaning he has an origin that predates all of that.
  3. If Lord English wasn’t just possessing Doc’s body, then how do you explain what happened to alpha session Jack Noir, huh? Was that a second Lord English being “created” out of nowhere??? No! It was the same Lord English taking a new host.
  4. Caliborn is missing a fucking LEG and a tooth. How the god damn shitting fuck is he a tyrant “minus an eye and an arm”??!
  5. What the FUCK use was Aranea’s epic pages-long cherub backstory, describing exactly how Caliborn’s session went and how he got his power, if that power and session DIDN’T MATTER?!
  6. Look, John Egbert isn’t John Egbert, He has a high chance of the being the thirteenth troll on the astrology charts, the Ophiuchus troll, but he’s not John Egbert. There so many times where he’s said to be John Egbert that he isn’t going to be John Egbert. I’m telling you right now, its waaaay too obvious he is John Egbert, the characters say it alot. And because of how Homestuck works, he’s not going to be.” No. There are damned limits to how much you can say something is the case without it being true, for this to still be a good story; furthermore, you haven’t explained a lick of how Caliborn has so much screentime if your dumb theory is actually true. You can’t just say Caliborn ISN’T Lord English, you have to add in an alternative explanation of what Caliborn actually IS to this plot, or it amounts to an assertion that half of Act 6 has been an intentional waste of time!!!!!
  7. Red herrings exist for a fucking PURPOSE. They don’t exist just to say “look over there!! —HAHAH, made you look”. And when they DO exist, they don’t make you waste untold hours scrutinizing and scrutinizing the red herring when there’s literally nothing behind it.

"It’s TOO OBVIOUS that Caliborn is Lord English" has always been the dumbest fucking line of reasoning I’ve heard in my entire life. It literally angers me! You can see so! Seriously, "Caliborn isn’t Lord English" theories are usually kind of dumb in and of themselves, but anyone who gives THAT shoddy line of reasoning deserves a hard, metallic, cheekbone-shattering pistol-whip.





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